1. Unfold

#walkslowlylistensoftly #hedgedruid #undertheoaks

It's been something like a full year since I had the idea to chronicle my path as a druid. At the time I felt such a sparkly energy around this beautiful thought. I wanted to land here, to settle into this space, in some way that would fulfil in me a need to share, to blether, to record for the future even, my life unfolding. The conceiving of this idea however was not to grow and manifest, at that time. The growth was to take a full journey around the sun. Purging itself of the debris of that year. Journeying towards the future, towards a good time to be delivered through the aether into this physical realm. This time feels good now.

I'd really love to share almost everything along my own path. Whatever feels alive and present. Last year, and then two more before, I felt mostly impotent. So much of life was intense and happening there was one big thing after another. All big things dimmed my light, my radiance was barely a glimmer and I felt mostly dull. I tried to plod on, and I found the aliveness of magic in nooks here and there. But I was never quite out of the bit. I always tell myself that life has a way of moving forward and that nothing ever stays the same. And so, there can always be hope for newness, for renewed vitality and for unexpected journeys to unfold. This year has been one such unexpected journey.

There was something I recognised, right at the start of this year, that felt wholly different. A sensing, and more so a felt-sensing in my body. I felt that something big was coming, something was about to change in the most dramatic way. I must admit, I even though that maybe this would be the year that extra-terrestrial beings would visit. It was that kind of feeling. That kind of change. That kind of knowing, that once you know it, it cant be unknown and it changes everything. We are currently journeying through May, the most beautiful May I can ever remember, but no aliens yet, at least I haven't came across any, I don't think.

But something has profoundly changed for me, deep within me, something is alive and present. Again, just curious, but I'm sure not an alien. Something alive and present, like an awakening of a kind. An awakening of a frequency that could have always been there and is now activated. Or maybe something that has been downloaded, energetically, or spiritually, from another source, another dimension maybe? Again, who might have provided such a download, aliens? The last time, I promise... Back to the recognising. I have always felt the atmosphere around me, does anyone else understand this? I'm sure you do. A felt atmosphere. Like a noticing of the energy of the living air, being breathed into my body, like a noticing of the sunrays being absorbed deep into my skin. Like a noticing of the coming of rain, of snow, of a storm, of smelling their individual signature scents, as they pour into my olfactory. And like feeling the heavy communication of the collective mood of the land, and of the living upon it when everyone is up to high doh, and aren't even sure why.

This recognition I felt, at the start of the year, wasn't yet fully formed. But I felt it nonetheless, and knew it was coming into embodiment. I then came across a really great podcast called 'Know Thyself for Change is Coming' by Rachel Hodges at Weaving the Wild. And I was so inspired that I took notes on the whole conversation. This was everything I had been feeling and I now knew that others were feeling it too, whatever it was, and they were also predicting this great change. For me the change has unfolded is ways that have demanded of me to see the truth in all things. And to make a stand with my inner truths. To no longer allow myself to whitewash things for the sake of peace. It was like, all tolerance within myself for insincerity, or bulldozing from my relationships deconstructed over night. And I could no longer reasonable accept for myself anything less than kindness, honesty and respect. And it wasn't like an internal stubbornness in putting my foot down with anyone, so much, as a powerful loving recognition and reconnection of self commitment to honour my being. I made a choice to be a well nourished woman. And if that meant something needed to fall away from me, then I needed to let it fall.

There were a few rocky moments along the way to well nourished full bodied womanness. Moments of my mind being pushed and pulled and stretched to it's absolute limit of endurance. Again, the purging of things, and this I now see was my vehicle for change. Something like the last big storm on a planet whose poles are realigning. The last big storm that marks the end of an aeon, the end of a way of life for the world and all of its inhabitants. Thankfully, I'm sure I'm not entering an ice age, but something of an age of abundance. To me, this does feel apocalyptic in nature. Something like unsteady and false constructs falling down, poor foundations are being exposed and grumbling and there is rubble and ruin all around. But this is beautiful too. And I welcome the ruin and rubble. There is a sense of a reclaiming of the nature within, and of entering a higher vibration akin to the nature without. There is something like the land of the Neanderthal here, in this place too. A beautiful untouched natural world, horizons stretching into infinity. And a knowing of being a truly wild and rare human being. And there is something that has a voice and wants to speak to the beauty in connection and relation and the wonderful ways in which we can feel a part of a community, of a tribe. And this part has a special kind of fizziness around it. Like there is something really magical happening in the ways of connecting intimately with others. Something like seeing clearly the spirit of another, and in being seen back.

This felt frequency, to me, feels very grounded and very cosmic in nature. To be both of the earth and of the stars. I understand that there is some pretty cool, yes, I say cool, I'm the oldest millennial on the planet, me and all the others born in 1981. As I was saying, there is something very cool happening with the celestial bodies right now and we have had some incredible solar flare storms just recently. I'm not very up on my astrology, and totally rely on others to inform me. Which, I am very thankful for. But to me, I understand this change from my felt sense of it all. And how that translates in to how I feel in my mind, body and spirit. I feel this all as very alive and very conscious. And it all feels very important for raising of my frequency, and probably maybe even the frequency of the whole planet.

There is more I would like to blether about on this topic, something around, you know, like 'why are the animals staring at me all the time' and something else to do with 'why is the sun acting strange and setting in weird places' but I think I will leave those thoughts for another entry. And I think I'm happy enough with how this post has unfolded. I want to keep these short. I like to blether in this way, as I would with a dear friend. Which I have done many a time, with a dear friend. When the conversation seems to spiral if not catastrophically rocket into the realms of strange, bazar and ridiculous. When you start talking about frequencies and end up at aliens invasions and then laughing so hard you cry. These are the best kind of people. I deeply value the poetic and beautiful articulation of words. I used to be able to do that too, but these days I haver, I blame perimenopause.

Walk Slowly Listen Softly.

Mags.